Why Men Get Trapped in the Friendzone
The reason why men (and women) may find themselves trapped in the friendzone is simply because the person they’re after isn’t into them.
5 Ways She Will Friendzone You
Before you find yourself becoming a permanent resident of the friendzone, here are 5 things you can expect to hear from her.
1. I’m Not Ready for a Relationship
If she’s just got out of a relationship, this could be true, but also, when a girl (or guy) is really into someone, it’s unlikely that they’ll reject them with an excuse like that.
2. I’m Working On Myself or I Don’t Have Time to Date
Much like the first point, if she was really into you, this isn’t something they would say. Think about like that friend who’s always too busy to hang out, but if you somehow came across some backstage passes to concert hosted by their favourite artist, suddenly, you’ll find that their schedule opens up. When something is important/valuable to someone, they will find a way to make things happen.
3. I Don’t Want to Ruin Our Friendship
This is just another way of her telling you that she’s not into you. While not wanting to ruin a friendship make sense, the truth is, time will eventually destroy it anyway, so if that’s the only reason, there’s no real risk in giving the relationship a shot, but more on this later.
4. I Hope to Find a Guy Like You One Day or You’re Going to Make Some (Other) Girl Very Happy
This one’s always been hilarious because if a woman saw that much potential in you as a romantic partner, she wouldn’t send you off to potentially be with someone else. Imagine a lottery winner who’s stumbled into millions… do you think they’d ever say, ‘I’m going to give all this away because it’ll make someone else happy? Of course not; they value the money so they will keep it for themselves. If the girl who friendzoned you was into you, she wouldn’t be passing you off to someone else.
5. You Deserve Someone Better or You’re Too Good for Me
If this was true, what does it mean for the guy she eventually gets with? Much like every other excuse, this is just another way of saying, ‘I’m not into you.’
4 Problems That Come With Being Friendzoned
1. Losing Her as a Friend
When browsing through the various posts about getting trapped in the friendzone on Reddit, you’ll often hear people saying things like:-
- I’d rather have her as a friend than nothing.
- I don’t want to ruin what we have.
- If I tell her how I feel it will change everything.
While all this is true, telling the girl you like how you feel is always going to be the best course of action. Ultimately, you’re probably going to lose her as a friend anyway because that’s how life is. Over time, you will grow apart as you take on more responsibilities, gain a new set of priorities, and generally progress through life. When either you or the girl you like finds a partner and/or has a family, you’re mostly likely going to drift apart.
If you confess your feelings to a girl you like and she says that she’d rather stay friends because she doesn’t want things to change, it’s a meaningless statement, because your friendship will change over time regardless, so what have you got to lose?
2. Unresolved Feelings
Many people say that staying/accepting the friendzone is a mature way to handle things, and in fact, calling it ‘The Friendzone’ is a negative. The thing is, your feelings are unlikely to vanish overnight, and being around someone you have feelings for when they don’t feel the same can be painful. Not only can it make it harder for you to move on, it can also suck up a lot of time that can be better spent on finding someone who will return your feelings.
3. You’re Wasting Time
To carry on from the previous point, spending a lot of time/emotional energy on someone who only sees you as a friend can slow down your personal growth. It may be that you’re spending less time/effort explore new interests, meeting new people, or enjoying new experiences. Being genuine friends with members of the opposite sex requires neither of you to have sexual or romantic feelings for each other, which personally, I think is very rare. In my opinion, women are more capable of being strictly friends with a man, but more often than not, 99% of her guy friends would have sex with them given the chance.
4. You Might Become Resentful
When guys relegate themselves to the friendzone, they could become resentful of the girl they have feelings for. Some guys will stay friends with a woman with the hope that she’ll change her mind later on down the road, but when she doesn’t, resentment can start to build.
Closing Thoughts on Accepting the Friendzone
If you’ve been friendzoned by a woman that you really like, you’re better off cutting your losses and moving on. Most guys find themselves in the friendzone because they either don’t make a move or take too long to do so. You’re much better off letting someone know how you feel very early on so that nobody has their time wasted. While it’s not pleasant, rejection is something you have to get used to if you want to achieve anything in life.
