This is a very tricky question, but, judging from the stories I’ve explored in the past, sometimes checking your partner’s phone is necessary. During my more innocent years, I never would have thought such a thing, but getting old changes you. Many of the Reddit cheating stories we cover over on Youtube tend to start with someone finding out that their partner cheated on them because they went through their phone.
While a lot of people are against doing such a thing (which is fair enough) in these particular stories, they may have never found out that their partner was having an affair had they not taken such measures. There are many people who say that if you trust your partner you should never have a need to go through their phone. On the surface, sure, but just because someone hasn’t given you a reason to think they’re cheating, it doesn’t mean they’re not doing so. That said, having access to your partner’s phone doesn’t mean you should be going through it every hour (or ever) but the fact that your partner is fine with you doing so at any time speaks volumes.
In many of the cheating stories we cover here at Coffee and Popcorn, it’s when someone’s spouse suddenly feels the need to change the password on the phone that alarm bells should start to ring.
Quora: What’s Your Opinion About Checking Your Partner’s Cell Phone?
Absolutely, unless they got something to hide, if they don’t, then your partner should not think it’s weird. ‘Darling, give me your phone,’ such statement should not make your partner startled or fidget, if it does, they’re definitely up to something they don’t want you to know about, except if they’re planning a surprise for you, if not, then something is fishy. I don’t need to ask to go through my partner’s phone every time, but if I ask to see or use your phone, don’t make me feel like I’m asking for your soul, as a wife or a girlfriend, that is where I start to doubt or suspect some shit.
Irene Leaman
They Say Open Communication Is Key
On various blogs or dating sites that cover this issue, they often say things like, ‘If you think that your partner’s cheating on you, talk to them about it.’ The problem with this is that cheaters are very rarely honest about their transgressions, and are more likely to gaslight their partner about things. Also, if someone suspects that you’re catching onto their cheating ways, they will find better ways to hide what they’re doing.
What Would the Police Do?
While it may be a little extreme, when thinking about this question, I often compare it to what the police would do if they suspected someone of a crime. If you’re under suspicion but there isn’t enough evidence, investigators are unlikely to come to you and tell you that; instead, they will monitor your movements to see if their suspicions are correct. Only when they have enough evidence will they make a move. To me, looking through a partner’s phone is the same thing. I’m not saying it should be an everyday practice, but if you have a genuine reason to suspect that your partner’s cheating on you, you’re more likely to get the truth this way.
What You Find May Destroy Your Relationship
I’ve also noticed that many blogs are against the whole looking through your partner’s phone thing in case you find something incriminating. The problem with that is, if you never looked, you may have never figured out what was going on I your relationship; if going through your partner’s phone is what leads you towards discovering their cheating ways, so be it. At least now you’re not operating from a place of ignorance, so can make an informed decision about your future rather than acting on a lie.
Closing Thoughts on Checking Your Partner’s Phone
If you feel like going through your partner’s phone is the only way to get to the truth, follow your gut. That said, if you’re wrong about your assumptions, you should communicate your concerns honestly with your partner, so they too aren’t being deceived by your actions. The need to go through your partner’s phone is something that can easily evolve into an obsession, leading to what can be best described as a toxic relationship. No two situations are the same, and no one will understand your relationship better than you, so act accordingly.
